Do You Lack Emotional Resilience?

When you set goals, they should be specific, realistic, and attainable. Assuming that your goals are, you may wonder why you haven’t reached your objectives yet. Or, if you have, why you’re not satisfied with the results and you feel you could have done better.

There are many reasons why goals are not met. Some because of factors beyond your control, such as the weather, how people will react, and other unpredictable things. But there are also factors within your control which you can manage personally. However, you may have failed to do so because something is holding you back.

Honestly assess yourself and look for these signs that might indicate that you take the easy way out too often. Overcoming these blocks will strengthen your emotional resilience and make you mentally stronger. This will allow you to push harder and do better in achieving your goals.

You Are Always Regretful

Everybody is susceptible to mistakes, although we all wish we weren’t. A failure is still an option despite preparing your best for all possible scenarios that can happen. If you lack emotional resilience, you will struggle to accept setbacks as feedback, learn from them, and move on.

You are likely often regretful of the things you should have or should not have done. The past creeps in and cripples your present. You feel sadness when you see the unfinished work or the damage you have done. I feel this way sometimes…how long it’s taken me to get here and I’m not where I want to be, how much money I’ve spent and days I should have been working, but didn’t. Regardless of how large the after effect of a loss is, you cannot spend your life being guilty every moment. You may naturally feel it for a while and feel that guilt at random, but do not perpetually self-condemn.

Feeling that way is not only unhelpful, but it can also worsen the situation. The condition may not be irreversible, but there are still things you can do to improve things. Start by first forgiving yourself. If you do, you will have a better perspective on how you can make better decisions in the future, instead of dwelling on the past.

You Feel Sorry For Yourself

Nobody is a super person and able to do everything. A person who lacks emotional resolve wants to do all things and be everything they want, all at once and right now. If this is you and you are not able to, you feel sorry for yourself. A life filled with self-pity is a terribly wasted life.

You need to realize that life’s reality is not about always being in the comfort of your nest or living in your ideal world. Focus not on what you don’t have, but on what you do have and what is available to you if you truly work for it.

Think of ways you can still grow without depending on what is missing. For instance, if you lose your current job and can’t find a new one in line with your current skills, learn a new skillset. Being busy leaves you less time feeling regretful and sorry for yourself. Instead, it will empower you and lead you to discover your other abilities.

You Need Validation From Others

Each individual has their own standards based on their personality, likes, dislikes, beliefs, and experiences. However, a person lacking emotional strength places other people’s standards above their own. You may need others’ approval before you can accept that you are good enough, or that you worked hard enough.

You may value another’s opinion above your own. You probably too readily doubt your abilities because others find fault in them. Doing this leaves you unfulfilled and unhappy.

Accept and acknowledge the whole package of yourself, including your limitations, then work to improve the areas that you believe that you should. Believe that you really can, and not only because others believe in you. This will boost your own confidence and will give you trust in yourself and your abilities.

You Allow Fear To Stop You

It is an instinct for a person to feel scared when they foresee an imminent danger, harm, threat, or even change coming their way. But to constantly live with that emotion and immobilize you is a strong indicator of a lack of resilience and trust in yourself.

You may be constantly worried that your endeavors will fail and that people will scoff at your ideas. You are reluctant to make further attempts fearing that you will repeat the same mistakes again. You may feel intimidated by someone who appears to be more accomplished than you.

That’s what fear is. It makes challenges look much bigger than they really are. It stops you from even trying. Even if you do try, you have already conceded that you would not do well.

Even if you take great care to avoid it, accidents can still happen, or harm (physical or emotional) can still come from external sources. Don’t wait for fear to be gone before you take action. Instead, step out even if you still feel scared. As you do, you will realize that most of the things you are afraid of are really not as dangerous as you think they are.

Opening Your Door

It is a reality that life is full of struggles, but it doesn’t mean that the door to victory is closed to you. Open yourself to opportunity. Set aside any past blunders and make peace with your past. Learn to be a little less concerned with what others think. Focus on who you are and not on others’ expectations. Magnify your own abilities according to your expectations instead of those of other people.

Until next time,



2 Replies to “Do You Lack Emotional Resilience?”

  1. Fear seems scary Jessica but facing this emotion kills it, quickly. This past weekend involved facing one deep fear I harbored most of my life; burying a parent. The wake and funeral felt relieving because I experienced and felt the fear; being void of this fear feels amazing because conquering it puts this specific fear in my rearview mirror for eternity.


    1. Yes, I was very sorry to read about your mother. Your recent post of her was truly wonderful and down to earth. Such a good read. Thank you for sharing.

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